As I typed, I just finished a bit of Clannad before heading of to try and get some sleep before I have to get up at 2am for the drive to Indy. I'm envious of the fun they have at school. The good memories they're making. I don't have any memories like that. For me, school was an oppresive place. I wasn't, like, picked on or anything like that. It was like I was invisable. No one ever talked to me or even acknowleged my existance. High school being the worst. Four of the most hellish years of my life. I'm sure for my classmates it wasn't four years of nothing but good times. There were downs along with ups. I bet many of them look longingly back at school. Their friends, activities, etc, etc. I wish it had gone differently for me. I wish I hadn't been such an outsider. Some say being popular is being a sell-out. Maybe they're correct, but I bet it made school a bit easier none the less, having a support group. Even now, all these years later, to think about it, it still hurts. I wish I had some good memories to associate with that time in my life. But I don't.
I know doing this should be a healing process, dealing with these issues. But why do I feel worse after doing it?.......
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