One good thing about working out...

....is I tend to do a lot of thinking. I seem to sort out the crap in my life the best when I'm torturing myself under the guise of being healthy. I've been bummin' about my cars failure at Drift Indy round 4. I was going through the runs in my mind when I realized I failed, not the car. My car is more than capable, there isn't one system on it that hasn't been modified. I, however, am not as capable. I'm not so much over-driving the car, but far exceeding my skill level. I guess I'm trying to say that the car is capable of doing what I want to do, but I'm not up to the task as a driver.
When I first got the car, the best process would've been to just get it up and running and go drift it. Then begin to upgrade the car, growing as a driver as it's capabilities did. Learning to become a better driver. However, I way over-built the car and started with something that FAR exceeded my skills.
At the event, I saw all these drivers just haulin' ass into the 1st turn and thought "Okay, I guess that's how it's done." Dumbass. There was the failure that led to my broken axle. Instead of just doing my own thing starting out easy on an unfamiliar course, I did what they were doing(well, tried to...). The course had a HUGE lead-in(bigger than anything I've ever attempted) and I was thrown off by the way the course felt really narrow. I remember trying to change up my approach and how I went thought the first turn, but I was just being too aggressive. I should've slowed down and started from square one.
Bottom line is I was just driving too fast for my skill. I need track time to become a better driver and breaking my car robs me of it. Hopefully I will remember this next time before it's too late and my stupidity breaks another part, ending my day early.

Why does this crap keep happening to me?! - round 2

I just got back from the Drift Indy event. It was well run, like I expected it to be. My first run session didn't go well. I was having a difficult time adjusting to the track. The surface was abrasive concrete and the car didn't seem to want to let go of it. As the runs went on, I was figuring out the track from the end of the run back towards the start. I was also battling VERY severe wheel hop.
I changed tire for the second session and the car felt a bit better on the first run, but it was all for naught, as I twisted off an axle shaft at the end. The wheel hop issue certainly didn't help things. I was so depressed I didn't even stick around to watch the tandem runs, something I was really looking forward to doing myself. So, once again something I was REALLY looking forward to failed to pan out yet again. I was really hoping this would've gone well. I'm struggling to find ANY kind of sign of prosperity in my life. You know, the silver lining, a bright light, something good..... It's been so long since something like that has happened to me, I couldn't tell you when the last time was it happened. Could I be a born loser?
In review, I got up at 2am, drove 3-1/2 hours, paid $75 to register, made 4 or 5 runs, and broke a $200 steel axle shaft. I'm so beaten down by my bad luck, I'm not even pissed. I'm so fucking depressed right now. Right now, I don't care about anything at all. Will I ever notice when it's time to call it quits?.......

So I just finished watching a bit of Clannad......

As I typed, I just finished a bit of Clannad before heading of to try and get some sleep before I have to get up at 2am for the drive to Indy. I'm envious of the fun they have at school. The good memories they're making. I don't have any memories like that. For me, school was an oppresive place. I wasn't, like, picked on or anything like that. It was like I was invisable. No one ever talked to me or even acknowleged my existance. High school being the worst. Four of the most hellish years of my life. I'm sure for my classmates it wasn't four years of nothing but good times. There were downs along with ups. I bet many of them look longingly back at school. Their friends, activities, etc, etc. I wish it had gone differently for me. I wish I hadn't been such an outsider. Some say being popular is being a sell-out. Maybe they're correct, but I bet it made school a bit easier none the less, having a support group. Even now, all these years later, to think about it, it still hurts. I wish I had some good memories to associate with that time in my life. But I don't.
I know doing this should be a healing process, dealing with these issues. But why do I feel worse after doing it?.......

I had an epiphany.......

Before I start I wanted to throw you some more nekomimi maid love. Sorry, couldn't resist..


I had an epiphany today while working out. I tend to act sort of aloof. For those who aren't sure, it means to be cold and distant. I realized I behave this way as a way of keeping people at length. I am very reserved. I fear being hurt by people. Some of it comes from a couple of run-ins with teachers from school when I was younger. These incidents hurt me a lot. I've always been shy and unsure of my self in the first place, then a teacher tells me there's something wrong with me? The one that was the worst was in art class we were drawing a picture. I drew a drag car. big tires and high in the back, small tires and low in the front. I wasn't the best picture, but it was elementary school after all. She told cars don't look like that! She was almost pissed about it! A girl, Lisa, came to my defence, but the damage was done. I was told that my creation, my expression of my own was wrong. I find dealing with people quite taxing. If I could afford it I would become a Hikikomori(wiki it if you're unsure what it means). It would be soo awesome! This came after I realized that I've said pretty much nothing to my classmates at school. It's been over a week and I've spoken to none of them and I like it that way. There was a lyric from the end on an Anthrax song years ago. "It's not that I hate people, i just like 'em better when they're not around". Preach on brother.

Psst..... Click on the picture. You REALLY should click on it!

Nothing beats a catgirl maid. Nothing.

If by chance you've read earlier posts, you're aware of my love of catgirls, especially catgirl maids. For this reason I give you the preceding image. A beautiful trifecta of catgirl maids. What else would it be?! Nekomimi meido ga daisuki desu yo. I'd run a bed of hot coals with an armful of feral cats for these three hotties.
I recommend you take a moment and click on the picture to experience the awesomeness of catgirl maids...

This just in!....

It's been a crazy coupla weeks since my last post. I'd been driving the drifter to put some miles on the clutch and had the same issue with the brakes I'd had in Mn happen on the way to work. Just in the middle of the intersection. The issue being the rear brakes dont release cleanly. By the time i figured out what was going on, the car stumbled and stalled in the middle of a VERY busy intersection. I had to restart the car and use the motors massive amounts of torque to force the car out of harms way, all this against draging rear brakes. Needless to say, the severe load killed my brand new killer clutch, I'd installed three weeks earlier. So, not only have i been unable to figure what's going on, but I just dropped $400+ on a new clutch. THE THRID ONE THIS YEAR!!! My buddy and I can do this operation in our sleep. To copletly R&R the clutch(pull trans-replace flywheel wear surface/clutch-reinstall) took all of three hours! I'm tired of doing this as is he!
Speedrift 16 was supposed to happen tomorrow, but got cancelled due to low registration. This really bummed me out. I'd been looking forward to this for a while. A couple of the other guys were talking about an underground event in some unused parking lot, which I'd of loved to go to, but wasn't able to find out where. I'm begining to think maybe i need to try and find a place of my own where I can do some drift practice of my own. Something local. At least i have Drift Indy round 4 to look forward to next weekend!
I started class thursday night. I'm taking a basic industrial saftey class, practicle electricity, and combination welding. I'm going for a C/A for Wind Generator Technician. Two of the classes will be easy, but the practical elec class is gonna take some work.

kono onna wa kirei na oshiri ga arimasu yo!

Here's a Yuki Nagato cosplay pic for 'ya. Not real wild about it myself, but that ASS! Awesome. Click on the pic to enlarge. YOU SHOULD REALLY CLICK ON IT........

At least I'm not a Lolicon.........

I got my first comment from an anonymous person!(see Friday, July 31st posting) That means someone I don't know read this crap! The only place I even try to promote this(if you could even call it "promoting") is at an anime site I lurk in. I have it linked way at very bottom of my "My Profile" page. I've told a few close friends about it, but I'm pretty sure they don't read it at all. This is my journal and like most, it's really not for sharing, it's personal. That doesn't mean I don't want people to read it, that's just fine by me.
The comment came from"catgirl fan" and he posted that I shouldn't feel pathetic because of my fervent love of catgirls. I don't feel pathetic, that's just how I'm sure most people in society would see me. Despite all my anime, figures, and the afore mentioned fanaticism with catgirls, I'm okay with who I am. Really. Granted, it took me YEARS AND YEARS to get here, but I made it! I understand that most would see me as weird. And that's cool. At least I'm different.
You know, if I could just win the fucking lottery, I could single-handedly save the economy in Japan. With that kind of money, I would spend soo much money buying figures, surely someone would erect a statue in honor of me!

About the title. It's established that I love like catgirls. A lot. At another anime site, there's a poll about who's hotter:Kanu Unchou(Ikki Tousen) or Rin (Kodomo no Jikan). Kanu looks to be of "legal" age and Rin is CLEARLY NOT!, she's basically an elementary schooler. Despite MY weirdness, at least I'm not turned on by young children. (shudder) The way they show how crazy they are about an underage girl(albeit an animated one) is kinda creepy. That's bad coming from me......